Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Peace is Every Step

For the last three nights, my daughter has woke up in the middle of the night, screaming. Those of you who are parents have been there. Those of you that are not parents, you might be able to relate to this by imagining what is was like for friends, family or your parents. It is terrifying.

Anahata is only 1 year and so far can only sign, "milky". So telling us what is wrong is out of the question. With tears down her eyes, her little back arching and her crying loudly, she tries to communicate that something is wrong. Stephen and I are challenged to speak and listen to one another as we panic. We wonder if we should be heading to the emergency room as we helplessly trade her off to comfort her and flip through our pediatric health book. I wonder if the piece of yoga mat she ate earlier today is lodged in her intestines or if the eucalyptus oil I used in the bath and on her bed is burning her skin and nostrils.

The more we panic, the louder she cries. After singing, "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and dancing with her in a circle, Stephen hands her off while I try to comfort her. I decide to calm down and really listen to her. I try to connect on a level of intuition. I am quiet. Peaceful. I breathe in and out. Soon she is quiet too. She takes my breast and starts to fall asleep. I stay here on the couch for another 10 minutes or so. Then we go to bed.

Peace is every step. It is every moment. Present moment. Wonderful moment. Even in our fear.

I thank Thich Nhat Hanh for his wisdom and inspiration.

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